Sunday, July 3, 2011

Speak.

I.

I want to write,

but can't.

I want to write,

but can't find the words.

I want to write,

but can't find the words nor the push to make those words spew out of me, fall out of me, rush out of me, even though I need the right words to empty out onto a clean page so, so badly.

I need to write.

I need to write.


II.

I want to speak,

but can't.

I want to speak,

but can't make a sound.

I want to speak,

but can't make a sound that resembles a word even close to what I need to express what I'm feeling inside, expanding, heaving, building up pressure within me till I feel like I'll...
pop.

I need to speak.

I.
Need.
Speak.


III.

I want to write and speak,

but can't.

I want to write and speak,

but can't find the trust.

I want to write and speak,

but can't find the trust within myself to trust another whose reaction could so easily be not what I think I need, or could so easily make me second-guess myself.

I already second-guess myself
without ever talking to another
person.

I need to write and speak.


-eleanor.

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