Love. And Stuff. Musings on the Topic of Valentine's Day

“I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day.  When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.”
--Author Unknown


"Given that St. Valentine was a 3rd century Roman priest who was stoned and beheaded, wouldn't a more appropriate celebration of the evening be taking one's steady gal to witness a brutal murder?"
--Sheldon Cooper, PhD. The Big Bang Theory, Mondays on CBS


Just to throw you off, I'm going to write about Valentine's Day.
Quite the contrast from my last post? Perhaps. Quite necessary? Definitely.


Here goes:


Valentine's Day.


Those two words are probably either making you swoon or sending you into convulsions. You're either drooling at the prospect of some jewel-eyed Adonis, sweetly emanating the scent of cologne, carrying the most gorgeous bouquet of flowers, just for you; or you're about to vomit up any trace of love-related sentimentality you contain in your body, and direct said up-chucking in the direction of those previously described. In either case, I have two more words for you: "Chillax, brah."


This year, I've decided to reassess the situation.


Usually, I jump on the counter culture bandwagon, sporting my broken-heart earrings, tying a black ribbon in my hair, painting my nails black, and adding a touch of black eyeshadow to my usually make-up-less school appearance. Cute, right?


However, I'd be lying to myself if I said I hate Valentine's Day. Honestly, it's not that bad.


Yes, I just said that.


Valentine's Day is not that bad.


As much as I try to suppress being a romantic, I can't completely stifle romantic ideas. I would love to go on a nice date, wear a pretty dress, look all darling and lovely. I would love to be given flowers and go dancing, just us. I would love to have a late-night picnic under the stars. I would love it if I had a special someone who would put his arm around me and could just sit there, enjoying my company while I enjoyed his company, no words needed, just a deep, unspoken understanding of each other.


And that is why Valentine's Day is not that bad. It symbolizes the ideas and dreams about love which are innate in all humans, whether they want to recognize it or not. We were made to love. We need to love.


However, what makes Valentine's Day slightly... well... let me put it this way:


My problem with Valentine's Day is that it is a blatant exploitation of love.


Now, I'm not an extremely pious person, and I don't divulge in reading heavily religious books. (C.S. Lewis's "The 4 Loves" is on my list of things to read, though.) However, I do firmly believe that love should not be taken lightly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, puppy love is kinda cute and all, but when it comes down to it, I'd rather have an intellectual and meaningful relationship-- a relationship based on mutual understanding and meaningful conversation-- than a passing and shallow relationship based on physical appearance and physical actions.


The way Valentine's Day is marketed (for it truly is a consumer "holiday"), implicitly encourages the latter of the two types of "love." I put it in quotes because puppy love is not real love.


Excuse me while I slightly digress in order to make a point-- People need to learn what the word 'love' means. There is a difference between infatuation and love. Infatuations are exhilarating, stomach-twirling, anxiety-inducing, self-consciousness-supporting diddlydoos.
Love is different.
Yes, love can be exhilarating and stomach-twirling, but it is also somewhere where you feel safe,  not anxious. It is a place where you are completely comfortable with yourself, completely comfortable talking about your insecurities, your confidences, your fears, and your hopes; not a place where you are self-conscious.


And now I bring my digression back to relevancy: If people seriously assess the institution of Valentine's Day and incorporate it more thoughtfully into their lives, it may actually bear more meaning. Here are some suggestions:


Celebrate the meaningful relationships in your life, regardless of whether or not they are "romantic."


Let down your guard for a bit and appreciate the beauty of love, in its truest sense.


Send some special thoughts in the direction of the people you care about.


Smile.


Give the prospect of love a chance.


Know that you're beautiful/handsome even if you don't feel so.




Before you say, "You hypocrite child, you!," I too am working on taking my own suggestions. I've decided to make Valentine's Day different this year, something beyond the greeting cards, chocolate hearts, and teddy bears. I've decided to make Valentine's Day something meaningful, regardless of my current relationship status.


So, I surrender, spiteful feelings. Bitterness is overrated, anyway. I won't get any farther in life by throwing daggers at Cupid's dance party, so I may as well join the dance myself... but with better dance moves of course. Duh.


Are you with me?


peace.
-eleanor