Operation: W.H.I.T.E. (Willful Heat Immersion to Tan Eventually)

Normally, I'm a pale person. In fact, I usually embrace my paleness and, as a lover of quaintness, I reminisce on the Olden Days when people puffed white powder on their face to make themselves extra pale.
...Also, I'm deathly afraid of skin cancer, thus that ever-present fear generally is enough to keep my body nice and sunscreened, and my mind comfortable with having pale skin.

However, an occasion has arisen to temporarily warp my mind into succumbing to the American subculture of basking in the sun to get a tan. The occasion: Senior pictures.
The result: Operation W.H.I.T.E. (see title of post)

Operation W.H.I.T.E. began today. Almost two hours in the sizzling summer sun. Splendid.
"My word, you must be terribly pink!" you may be thinking. But, um, no. I'm still rather pale. That is because Operation W.H.I.T.E. has been carefully crafted by yours truly to be the most healthy approach to tanning ever known to mankind!!! (Okay, that's an overstatement. But keep reading, anyway.)

Basically, here's what W.H.I.T.E. entails:
Ingredients
-SPF 25/30 Sunscreen
-strapless dress
-stimulating work of literature
-iPod
Recipe
-Lay 2 towels in backyard; create pillow mound to prop up head while reading
-Lie down, face up, on towels
-Remain this way for about an hour, listening to iPod or just taking in the lovely sound of nature
-Switch to lying on stomach, and read book. Books are awesome.
-Remain this way for about an hour.
-Come inside your house.
**Must bring a nice glass of water outside with you so that you don't dehydrate! Tanned skin won't look good if your body isn't hydrated!**

Repeat this every other day, or so, so that eventually you will have a nice (and healthily obtained!!!) tan.

(I intentionally likened my tanning soon-to-be ritual to a recipe because the outdoors is like a friggin oven. Mehhh.)


Yes, friends, that is my grand Operation W.H.I.T.E. Call me crazy, but it's going to work.

I. Love. Sunscreen.

Au revoir,
-ellen